Sometimes it’s hard enough to know exactly what your own feelings for someone else are, let alone trying to guess how they might feel towards you. In this post, we’ll touch on a few of the signs that someone really likes you and help reduce the sleepless nights and energy wasted on wondering what might be going on in their head and heart.
1. Their body language.
Try as we might, sometimes we just can’t hide our inner feelings and desires. Someone’s body language can tell you a lot about how someone feels subconsciously (or even consciously) towards you. One of the most important cues is eye contact. When you have their attention, you’ll get good eye contact. If things aren’t going so well, you’ll find their eyes wandering elsewhere – some warning signs are checking their watch, frequently checking their phone, and checking out people other than you. If they find you particularly attractive, you might find their eyes wandering slowly over your face in a triangular movement between the eyes and mouth.
They will directly or indirectly try to reduce the distance between the two of you – by standing closer to you or moving their chair closer. Do they mirror your posture or gestures subconsciously? They are likely to face you when talking to you – with their feet, arms or hands pointed towards you – in contrast to standing sideways or away from you. It shows that they are comfortable with being close to you.
If they smile more around you, it’s a good sign that they like you (or at least find you amusing). Think about when you smile – it’s when you’re happy, content or full of good feeling. They will appear to be in a better mood around you, and as a result, they’ll smile naturally (it’s pretty hard to hide a genuine smile). They may have had a bad day and will be initially tense/upset/angry/frustrated, but they’ll seem relaxed and happy around you after a few minutes. That’s a sure sign they enjoy your company.
And finally, light touching – of the arm or shoulder, for example – is a really strong indicator that this person is attracted to you. How do they react if you make light contact with them?
2. Calling for no real reason.
They might try to get your attention by calling or texting you for seemingly trivial things. How flimsy is their excuse for calling you? They might just be calling because they want to talk to you and hear your voice, but want to make up an excuse to seem less vulnerable. They might just contact you to tell you something that happened in their day or ask you about yours.
3. Their friends know about you.
If they’re happy to introduce you to their friends, it’s a good sign they like you. If they have feelings for you, they would have confided in at least one friend about you. If he/she really likes you, they’ll give you a warm introduction (and might even brag about you) to their friends.
4. Giving you attention.
As I mentioned in my post on Modern Day Dating & Scheduling Dates, attention is the rarest and purest form of generosity, so if you have someone’s attention, it’s a sure-fire sign that they like and enjoy your company. The attention can take many forms: they might, for example, ask you a lot of genuine questions about yourself (and, in particular, if you’re single or not or whether you have a love interest yourself). This will be because they have felt some kind of attraction towards you and they’ll be interested in finding out more to see how compatible you really are.
They might prioritise you over other people and activities – or organise their own activities in such a way that the chances of meeting you increase. If you’re upset or in poor health, they might try making you feel better in some way – by visiting you (or if it’s contagious, sending you or saying something comforting). They might try offering assistance when help is needed – moving house, for example, or painting a room. Many of us have a hard time putting our feelings into words, and it’s much easier and subtler to show people how you feel and that you care about them. Actions speak louder than words, as I detailed in 10 Ways To Surprise Your Partner.
5. Occasional, subtle passive aggressive behaviour.
When someone really likes you, their behaviour can be occasionally and subtly passive aggressive. Partly because sometimes strong feelings can be confusing and hard to deal with, but also because they are invested emotionally in you. You can upset them without even knowing – it might be not returning a message for a few days or not inviting them on a night out, when they were in fact really looking forward to hearing from you or seeing you. When you really like someone, there is a tendency to over-think things and take things personally.
The more of the signs described above someone shows towards you, the higher the chance they are interested in you. In the end, it all boils down to whether or not this person gives you their time and attention. Because if you really like someone, you’ll find time to spend with them, and when you’re with them, you’ll give them all your attention.
You can read about some more signs that someone likes you, including telling you personal secrets and defending you, in our follow-up post, 5 More Signs Someone Really Likes You.
Can you tell whether someone really likes you or not? What gives you the best indication that someone does, in fact, like you?