The act of breaking up with someone should never be taken lightly. Ending a relationship is never a pleasant experience, but it can be simply devastating for some and can have potential long-term consequences for your partner and their future relationships. Although for some, it can be a blessing in disguise and a potentially life-changing experience for the better. In this post, Find Keep Love looks at five of the worst ways to break up with someone and discusses the most humane way in which to be the bearer of bad news in the best possible light.
1. Break-ups using social media
Social media is great for keeping in touch with family and friends, sharing photos and videos, sharing important (and even meaningless) moments, and debating current issues. One thing it is not good for is breaking up with someone. You should never break up via a Facebook message or a Twitter Direct Message, but even worse is doing it publicly via a wall post or status update (or a Tweet, if using Twitter).
2. Break-ups via email or text message
There is a common theme forming – don’t use text to break up with someone. Even a voice mail is a big no-no. The only possible exception here is a heartfelt and thoughtful handwritten break-up letter. But definitely not a post-it note, like in this episode of Sex and the City:
3. Break-ups via a middle man
When breaking up with someone, never find someone else to do your dirty work for you. Children can get away with this, but not adults. There is, in fact, a “Separation Agency” in Germany who you can pay for them to break-up with your partner. Be a responsible, mature adult and deal with your problem personally and directly.
4. Break-ups on important days
As mentioned earlier, a break-up can have potentially devastating effects on your partner, so if you are really committed to ending your relationship, consider their feelings and never break up with them on an important day. This includes birthdays, Valentine’s Day (whether you “believe” in it or not), right before or during exam periods, after they’ve had a significant loss (career-wise or a loved one), or while on vacation.
5. Break-ups in public
As part of most break-ups, there are tears, possibly shouting, and sometimes things are broken/destroyed/thrown. I’ve seen several public break-ups and it never looks good. You can make your partner feel horribly embarrassed by the situation – public humiliation is never nice – and there is a good possibility of causing a scene. So, if possible, have your break-up discussion in a private place with just the two of you.
Sitting down with someone face-to-face (even Skype or FaceTime works) and explaining your feelings is the best and most humane way of breaking up with someone. By being honest with your partner and getting out your feelings, you not only leave them less confused (and possibly less heartbroken), but you may find that talking about an issue that has been plaguing you and working on a resolution may in fact rescue the relationship. The best relationships are formed around mutual trust, honesty and love.
Do you have a bad break-up story as either the bearer or receiver of bad news? Share it with us in the comments below!